I have never before in my life realized the role that solitude and silence has always played in it. I have rarely if ever been afraid of silence and have often sought it out. Here in the eleventh largest city in the world with a culture of intense social structure and deep connectedness their is little room for solitude. The very idea is literally foreign to the culture. people never spend time alone. They have built in fail safes to prevent it. People never eat alone and if they are alone in transit their cellphones have solved the problem of solitude. People stare into the depths of their lcd phone screen as if they are luck charms to ward of the evil spirit of solitude. At all the Korean restaurants I have been at you cannot order a single serving of anything. They only come served for two. I have had to pack away more then my share on occasion. There is a guilty avoidance that surrounds me at times when I am eating alone. The Koreans around me feel sad for me that I am alone and so gravitate to fill the void and yet the language barrier keeps them away and so you feel extra alone. None of this however gets to the heart of the matter of solitude in Seoul. I crave my time alone. There are people and cars and exhaust and scooters and flashing neon signs everywhere. It literally fills you with its poison till your lungs can't clean it out and you get sick. I have had to work hard to find the tiniest scraps of solitude and I have never felt deeply fulfilled. Even on the small mountain parks in the city the sounds and smells fill you. I have had to use my Ipod as a mean to find some controllable space. It is not the deep silence that I long for. I will keep searching the city till I find it.
It occurred to me yesterday that certain cultures focus on different aspects of human longing some seek success some fine food some dress to impress. Here it seems that they strive to connect yet it is sadly strange that despite this deep search and the social structures it has made that Seoul has the highest rate of suicide of any major city.
I found the Changdukjung palace a few weeks ago it seems that the kings here may have been some of the only ones who understood the need to find solitude. They built their palaces with large spaces, quiet streams a botanical garden, a banzai house, ponds and a small forest. This is the only place so far where true solitude may be found that I have seen. Solitude is not a luxury to take for granted and it is not always possible. it may be the greatest luxury that we have in Canada.
peace
Joshua
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9 comments:
thanks, josh. i was recently struck by how much solitude can be found in the megatropolis of toronto, and it's a good reminder to take advantage of and enjoy every minute of it.
Dear Joshua,
I couldn't help thinking about the contrast between what you are experiencing in Korea and Asher's life in Sierra Leone. The pace of life, the access to media, the quiet, the clear skies. But no sushi, and rice does have its limitations in the diet.
Dad
Ah, Joshua, this place would be perfect for you. What sometimes drove me crazy would be your heaven. I begin to understand the need for silence though. A day with kids creates that need... Though, in some way the culture you describe beckons me. Perhaps Mexico was like that. I go crazy without people around me - even if we aren't doing anything or acknowledging each other's presence, I need others around me. Maybe you understand something I don't...maybe we're just different. I hope you find your space somewhere!
actually, as I've lived here longer, I find a strange kind of solitude in the crowds: the fact I can't understand the language makes the crowd sounds a little like the ocean to me -- a sort of noisy silence. Coffee shops are my solitude now. As much as the mountains -- the mountains, every noise interrupts the silence attempt, but in the coffee shop, the noise IS the silence.
And i don't pity you for needing solice. So there :P
If you just wouldn't have gone to Korea you wouldn't have this problem!
:)
very interesting joshua. thanks for the post.
Have you seen Lost in Translation? I know that it takes place in Japan, not Korea, but your post reminded me of the strange loneliness despite, or even because of, the thousands of people living in the city that Scarlet Johansen and Bill Murray's characters feel. And the garden part, too. You should watch it, if you haven't.
We miss you here in B.C.!
Wow. Here I was just thinking about there being too much solitude out here in prairie land but my shoulders relax every time I drive out of the business of cities. Music is sometimes the only escape and it can take on many forms, including solitude. My wise old friend Wayne once said; young people seem to find their only peace through the little white cables in their ears.
I hope you find some fulfilling solitude out there.
mmmm...check out this blog entry for some quotes by P. Lal on silence. http://sharemyspace.blogspot.com/2007/01/on-self-publishing-and-silence.html
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